Divorce & Remarriage
by The AV Preacher

WHAT IS MARRIAGE?/DURATION OF THE MARRIAGE BOND
ENGAGEMENTS/DIVORCE/THE UNBELIEVER DEPARTS

What is Marriage?

Noah Webster (1828) gives this definition of marriage:

marriage (mar ij) n. The act of uniting a man and woman for LIFE.

The Bible says:
 

Genesis 2:24	Therefore shall a man leave [depart from] his father and his mother, and shall cleave [join together, hold tightly] unto his wife [chosen life-mate]: and they shall be one flesh. (one flesh occurs 6 other times in the Bible)
Matthew 19:5-6	And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mark 10:7-8	For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
Ephesians 5:31	For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

In all of the above there is a LEAVEing, a CLEAVEing, and a WIFE.

Is fornication marriage since two people become one flesh?

The following is the only occurrence of "one flesh" in the Bible that doesn't refer to marriage.

What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. 1 Corinthians 6:16

One joined to a harlot IS one flesh with her, but this is NOT marriage to her.

Where is the leaving in this verse?
Where is the cleaving in this verse?
Where is the wife in this verse?

This [becoming of one flesh], of course, would constitute whoredom and/or adultery [and/or fornication]. Hebrews 13:4 says,

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Neither adultery nor whoredom is marriage. How can they be honorable? If sexual immorality alone constituted marriage then why would God judge and hate it? When Jesus spoke to the Woman at the well:

Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither. The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly. John 4:16-18

She was obviously living with this man and yet God considered them UNmarried.

Hence our working definition...

Marriage, then, is one man and one woman entering into a covenant before God and law to LEAVE, CLEAVE, and be HUSBAND and WIFE. Consummation makes them one flesh.
 
 

Duration

Biblical marriage is till death do you part. (Remember your vows?!) Notice that God gave Adam only ONE helpmeet. Adam didn't even get to pick her! God made marriage for life. Divorce is not an option.

The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. 1 Cor 7:39

This applies to the husband also.

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 1 Cor 7:10-11

Remarriage is Adultery.

Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery. Luke 16:18

Notice here she is already "put away". The divorce is final. Even a virgin male in the "whosoever marrieth her" would be committing adultery! See Mark 10:11--

And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.

If two never-married people commit sexual immorality is it "ADULTERY"? NO!!!!!! For "Adultery" to take place a MARRIAGE MUST be violated!!!!!!!!!!

In Mark 10:11 then he that "marry another" MUST be still married in God's eyes, even if he thinks he "put her away". If he were totally released by God from that marriage, then it wouldn't be ADULTERY against HER (his put away wife).

In the Old Testament, priests were not to marry one put away. If divorce was final, then why would God have a problem with this?

They shall not take a wife that is a whore, or profane; neither shall they take a woman put away from her husband: for he is holy unto his God. Leviticus 21:7

So then, what is the duration for marriage?

Marriage is for a lifetime in God's eyes.

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Devotees (engaged folks)

A Christian and a non-Christian should NEVER be married.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 2 Cor 6:14-16

What does "yoked" mean anyway? According to Webster 1828:

yoke (yok) n.a chain; a link; a bond of connection; as the yoke of marriage.

yoke (yok) v. to couple; to join with another.

Deut 7:3-4	Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son. For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly.
Neh 13:25-27	And I contended with them, and cursed them, and smote certain of them, and plucked off their hair, and made them swear by God, saying, Ye shall not give your daughters unto their sons, nor take their daughters unto your sons, or for yourselves. Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? yet among many nations was there no king like him, who was beloved of his God, and God made him king over all Israel: Nevertheless even him did outlandish women cause to sin. Shall we then hearken unto you to do all this great evil, to transgress against our God in marrying strange wives?
Mal 2:11	Judah hath dealt treacherously, and an abomination is committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judah hath profaned the holiness of the LORD which he loved, and hath married the daughter of a strange god.
James 4:4	Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
1 Cor 7:39	The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

Who should a believer marry?

A believer should marry ONLY another true believer; preferably of like practice.
 
 

Divorce

Many Christians are getting divorced today. But what does God say about this?

The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.

Matt 19:3-11

The impermissability of divorce is a tough saying! Even Jesus acknowledged this. Jesus said "except it be for fornication". Why didn't he say for adultery? A married woman can NOT commit fornication! If a married woman commits sexual immorality with a man other that her husband it is termed adultery not fornication. The Bible NEVER says that adultery is grounds for putting away, only fornication. Then what did Jesus mean by fornication?

Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily. Matt 1:18-19

Joseph and Mary were espoused which is akin to our term engaged. During this time a wedding had not yet taken place and therefore they were still UNmarried. They had also never come together sexually. Why then would Joseph have to put her away? In Jewish law, if a man found a woman to not be a virgin on the wedding night, then he could put her away. She was not a virgin bride as he had been led to believe, but was, in fact, a FORNICATOR. She had committed this fornication before marriage. This is what Joseph supposed that Mary had done. This is what Jesus meant by "except it be for fornication".

When is divorce permissible?

There is NO Biblical allowance for two Christians who enter into a covenant marriage before God and law to ever be divorced.
 
 

Departing

In the case of the unbelieving spouse:
 

1 Cor 7:12	But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
1 Cor 7:15	But if the unbelieving depart, let [that is NOT the same as putting her away!] him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

This simply means you may allow them to leave if they have made up their mind. But, you are called to peace. Every effort must be made to keep the marriage together. Marriage is an unbreakable lifetime contract to the believer. The unbeliever may not have the same understanding or conviction, so may decide to leave despite all the believers pleadings and peacemaking. In this case, a believer is not under bondage and may be remarried, but only in the Lord.

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 1 Cor 7:14

Now how did a believer get an unsaved spouse anyway? We know as Christians we are commanded to marry only in the Lord. 1 Cor. 7:12-15 is the case where two unbelievers married and then one got saved. This is proven by 1 Cor. 7:14 where the Bible says "else were your children unclean; but now are they holy." You see, they were obviously married while they were both unsaved because their children were unclean. But, now they are holy because one of them has since become saved. If one of them had been saved when they entered into the marriage covenant, then their children would have never been unclean, but holy from the beginning. This is the only scriptural way for a saved spouse to not be under bondage if the other should depart.

The Holy Ghost makes this exception because this covers a situation which is out of the believers control (which this would obviously be since one never knows whom nor when the Lord will save) and thus he or she did not become unequally yoked together with an unbeliever of his or her own volition. Paul is not releasing the Christian from "a marriage mistake". Paul is, through the Holy Ghost, releasing the new (converted after marriage) Christian from a marriage that has been drastically changed and restructured, after its conception, by a spiritual event totally out of mans control. Then, and only then, and only after fervent, sincere attempts by the believer at peace within the marriage have been exhausted and rejected, is the unbeliever allowed to depart. A believer is not forced to live in bondage in this case, and in this case only is free to remarry.

What about when the unbelieving spouse departs?

If one becomes saved during the marriage, the believer is free to remarry if the unsaved spouse departs.